My Friend (A Better Response)


I had a conversation with a friend who wanted to get married to the person she had had a long-term relationship with. I told her, “I’m very happy that you’re happy. I’m very happy for you that you’ve found someone who knows you well, who makes you feel secure and loved, and that it looks like you can make it in the long-run. But you know deep down that this isn’t going to work. You’re not really right for each other. Yes, the flame is burning high now, the passion is burning, the joy is constant, but these things die down, and I and your family and so many of your friends are telling you this one is not the one. It feels special, two lovers against the world and against all the odds, But when the deed is done, you don’t go riding off into the sunset, you don’t go live in the castle for happily ever after. You have to make a life.There has to be something more than the right now. I’m sorry that this is so painful, but I say it because I love you, and I really want you to be happy not just now and a little while from now, but forever. And if you do this now, it’s going to hurt you in the long run, and because I love you, I want to spare you that.”

You can draw what conclusions you want as to whether my friend was talking about a boyfriend or girlfriend–it was a bad match, and a hard lesson (learned too late). I do love my friend, and I do love you, too, and just like I told her: you know I love you and want you to know all the joy you were meant to experience. If this experience blows up in your face, and you get hurt, wounded, scarred, scared, lost, and lonely, here I am. I’ll pick you up, dust you off, give you a big hug, we’ll share a hot meal and a tall beer, and we’ll see how to manage from there.

And if all the bad stuff that can happen doesn’t happen, I still want the best for you, and so no matter what, you’re always safely in my prayers. God bless you, hold you, protect you, guide you, and draw you to Himself in his infinite love for you.

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